An Assortment of Assorted Dresses.

What I imagine when I say "Assorted Bridesmaid Dresses" generally lays out something like the following:



Nothing old fashioned here, but sweet styles/colors/arrangements.



How you feel about black dresses, ladies? This is the default back-up plan. It would be simple and lovely and go FAB with peacock feathers.



Also loving the neutral/cream situation. Could really rock it, I'm sure. Seriously, how do you feel about neutral pallettes? Some people get a wee washed out, right?




More green. Love the one to the right (my right) of the bride. Not the color, but the little flower and the bust. SO CUTE. (But hey, what is with the pheasant hunt carcass in Bridey's hand?).



More formal than necessary, and pinky/mauve/rose/etc, but how cute? (Hate the gown, by the way).


All these blues are AWESOME.

No on pink, yes on the intermingling of styles. Nicely done.




Did you know that mustaches on sticks were a popular wedding gag thing last year? Why? Who started that? It was cute at the first three weddings, and that's about it. (Of course I plan to have dress up options in the photobooth section of the wedding, so there you go).




All in all, well executed, simple, caszh. LOVE LOVE LOVE the simplicity and the cut of the bridal gown. Dang.

I totally have more, but internet was down at home, and I'm surreptitiously blogging this from work with saved photos in the post that I started a million days ago, so that's it for now.

Oh, except to tell you that I bought a wedding dress. Thanks be to Jessica for helping me through the process! I kind of made it up from a dress on display in a shop and they are making it for me and it's a gamble as to how it will turn out, but I'm confident it's going to be fabulous. For the record I've only tried on one actual dress, and it was a size 6 and so I use the term "tried on" VERY loosely here. I will be the happiest bird on the planet if this dress is as lovely as I think it's going to be. Check mark one on the million-entry To Do list.

Haggisina.

Preliminary searches for Scottish wedding dresses have pulled up the following:

1) The Gweneviere. I have to admit that I semi-like the cut/shape/outline/drape/shoulders aspects of this dress from afar. But the celtic/ropey/medallion pointing at the hoo-ha situation is unrecoverable from, I'm afraid.





2) The Semi-Modern Scottish Lass: Um. Yeah. I don't really know if this is a thing thing, or a joke thing. Because. Um. Yeah.... though I do so especially love the crude stitching, the semi-ripped layer of fabric below the waste, and the wee splay of lace above the one breast. Utterly fascinating. And also something vaguely whore-ish about it... No, wait - Wench, that's the word. She looks like what I imagine a true (tried and true, ba dump bump ching!) wench would look like.




3) The Scottish Amby. Dudes, I could totally grandstand this! Love the cut, love the ribbon band at the top (in a more peacocky or tartany color), love the little shrug* she's got going on. Also love that I think that could be me in the photo, due to the fact that it actually looks like Tina Yothers from Family Ties, to whom I was always always always being compared in the long-ago 80s, and therefore could potentially have ended up looking like, not unlike this brilliant Scottish gal.



4) The Strangely Attracted To You Lacy Layers Dress. I would be a lying liar if I said anything other than: I totally adore this dress. And I could not for the life of me give you a good reason, except that I think the whole layers of strange and clashing lacy fabric thing is just completely odd and cool. Like Molly Ringwald's otherwise ugly dress in Pretty in Pink, this shmata is like some kind of magic made out of the scraps of things far more ordinary. I have fantasies about running around the city collecting bits and bolts and leftover remnants, buying some godawful 80s gown with puffy sleeves and lace and beads and hearts and gauze and ugh, and ripping it all up and sewing it all back together into a strange and beautiful layer cake of a Frankenstein dress like this one. Too bad I'm only a very very very moderate sewer (as of my last sewing class... in eleventh grade).



There are more, of course, but nothing to write blog about. There is a weird trend in the British wedding attire that I would like to point out to you, but I can't quite put my finger on. I will try, though, at some point, because it's just so odd. I really can't find the words. And you know, maybe it's not odd, maybe it's just that those weddings are more au natural, and I'm used to the augmented stylings of all these blogged weddings, so it's hard for me to understand what I'm touching, I mean looking at anymore. Hm.

* I have a whole thought/plan about a shrug or wrap situation, but that will have to be another post.

Another Random Assortment of Dresses Have I loved.

It's bridal, it's bri-dal ti-i-ime. I said it's bridal time, that's why we call it bridal time.

For your feasting (and vicarious living through my process) pleasure:




How do I love this dress, let me count the ways... No, it is too much, let me sum up: slight ruffle, good boob coverage, cute band/flower/waist-defining thing. And look at that, she seems to have a peacock thing going on. Hmmm. I saved this on 10/31/09. I was so ahead of my time.



Pretty sure I saved this because I thought I could rock that hairdo, but now that I'm seeing the dress again, my god, I am in love with it. Not the big sleeves, necessarily, nor the colors (which I like, just not in the peacock/blackwatch tartan vein), but the satin shine and the sash... freaking gorgeous.




This is a one-of-a-kind being sold in the used dress section of Once Wed and I it even though I not a huge fan of layered ruffles like that. Love love love. The top is a perfect shape, I think. There are more photos on Oncewed.com if you got to Used Dresses area and search for 'beige blue custom' I think it will come up.




Dear Santa, please bring me this dress, and the life that goes with it. I've been a very good girl. Love, Amber.

It's maybe too Fifties to pull off for old-timey, but other than that it's a dream dress. Seriously, God's perfect dress in my universe of dress pleasures. Via Etsy.com, if I'm not mistaken.




I've a fondness for the straight/A-line skirt, with some kind of fancy/feminine top. Not sure exactly how to pull it off, though.





Totally not me, but I love it anyway. Appeals to my Kindergarten self, with the butterfly wings and the fairy princess play and all that.





Not sure why I saved this one. The fabric reminds me of the suit my mom wore when she and my step-dad got married, but I do like the overall shape, cut and drape of this, if were a little fancier (but not TOO much more fancy).




I have neither the belly nor the hips to pull this off, but I am extremely fond of it, never the less.




Too much boob in my life to handle everything this dress has going on up top, but I like the shape and concept going on everywhere else.




This makes me think of dancing the Charleston. And I adore it. And it has swirls and a weirdo little bustle. What's not to love?

Next up: all the crazy Scottish dresses.

Inspiration! Peacock Feathers.

I know, I know, hardly original.

HOWEVER: Peacock feathers match pretty closely with the colors of the Blackwatch tartan* for the kilts, so bada boom, bada bing, I have some sort of inspirational item to work with, perhaps, when it comes to dress colors for the ladies. And to the flowers, maybe? And to some kind of hairpiece?

Plus the location I have now secured (well, secured with a contract in my inbox but not yet signed or paid for, anyway) is a little bit orchard/barnyard/nature abounds near by/ish, which always reminds me of the Peacocks that used to live nearby... well nearby someplace that I can't remember right now. Wow, brain. Wow. It was some house where I, like, lived. Or my Dad lived? Oh my god, I can't remember. Jeezus.

Anyway, Peacocks remind me of that. And also of Art Deco designs, which will not be featured prominently (my idea of Old Timey is more Depression-era Thirties than Post-Roaring Twenties Deco Thirties) but may sneak in a bit, you never know, because I'm me and that's how I (un)roll.

I'm also twirling the idea of thistles around in my clearly loose brain. They are so adorably prickly. (Like us). Though they are much more impractical for things like boutonnières (wow, did I just spell that right? GO BRAIN! Wait, no I didn't, I didn't make that pretty little accent. Dammit.) and bouquets and decor and the like. Not so adorable when jabbing into skin. (Like us).

Anyway, things are moving along. Now if I do well at this job interview on Monday I might actually have the ducats to pay for some of this jazz. Wish me luck!


*Which I think we might have found a rental resource from which to procure for $50 per kilt or $100 for the whole outfit, which is INSANE (in a good way - a good kilt is $400 bux! A crap kilt that you make yourself still costs $100 in materials alone!). But I need to order one and see if it's the real deal, or one of those aforementioned crap or lady skirts from Godknowswhere.

Bridesmaidsy Dressish Type Things From Nataya.

Love the entire "Montmarte Doll" collection by this crazy Russian designer Nataya.

http://www.nataya.com/catalogue.php?id=59

Some of it's a little Stevie Nicks, but what are you gonna do? Some of it is spectacular for old timey (not old timey Scottish, necessarily...), including these:



These are just things I found early on in the planning, in the Pre-Kilt-Storic days when it was going to be 100% "Old Timey" theme.

I am definitely leaning toward a "here's your color palette and some old fashioned looks, wear what you want in the general vein of all this" sort of scenario for the ladies, so anything I post here is more of a breathy admiration, "I like your bass, your beat is nice" kind of thing. *

*At least until Bridezilla rears her head and orders you to rush delivery on something in Taffeta and Organza, with sparkles and puffed sleeves. It could happen. (Seriously, have you Googled Scottish Weddings?).

Random assortment of dresses I have apparently liked over time as I've saved them in random folders on my PC (Part 1)

Lacy 50s number. I can dig it. Though we are not currently planning a Rock-a-billy shindig (but it could change, who knows, stay tuned, you never know with me, right?)



Not that you can even tell what this is, but trust me, it's really lovely. A silky, drop-waisted number from the 30s. Love.



Mmmm, not really sure what's going on here. Rather sack-like. Not un-cute, but not fantastic, either.



Yeah, yeah, I know it's black. I know it's totally not appropriate for summer even in another color. But I do love and have always loved this. Who knows, maybe I'll find some sort of long crazy skirt situation like this to base the whole look upon. Also, I look fab in boat necks, I totally dig the see-through-it-edness at the décolletage and I even have a fondness for the satin wierdo cuff situation at the 3/4 length sleeve. (I admit that I can't totally picture it in a lighter/whiter/ivory-er color scheme, though).



"Please won't some hot smoldering man come rip me off of this woman, before I am forced to do it myself!" this bodice seems to be screaming.

Don't like the uber tight, don't like the baby blue, but am otherwise a big fan of the simple style, cut and shape.




Okay, so Kate Walsh is a little nutso, and this outfit does nothing to disprove same, however, I do so love that skirt! Can you imagine it in a vanilla or ivory or ecru or whatever? Because I can!

(EDITED to say that I am a totally old and out of the loop lady and that is apparently not Kate Walsh but some designer lady from Project Runway. Apologies to both for having to LOOK EXACTLY LIKE EACH OTHER all day long every day.)



Sure wish I could remember where the hell I saved this one from, because quite honestly I adore it.




Ditto.



This is perhaps more Ren Faire than I am going for (in spite of the oh-so-borderline-Highland-Games nature of the event as it continues to unfold... just kidding... sort of), but I do like it. Less white, a vanilla or eggshell or tooth? Something more delicate or colorful at the waist, maybe? Larger photo below:

I'm having trouble gathering all my various links to the dresses I've actually bookmarked over the last few months, and that's partially because I've been using three different computers, with three different methodologies for saving said marks, so I'm kind of over trying to ferret out the thing as I can't remember that one dress, you know, remember, I saved it, and then emailed it, but exactly where it would be and what did I do with it and which computer is it on and and and... yeah. Over. And. Out.

There WILL be a cheese table.

See that photo, second from the top?




WANT.

Maybe I'm just hungry right now and not able to eat cheese, like ever, these days, so it only seems incredibly desirable, but really I think it's just that the cheese-set table perfectly ascribes to the Amby-approved look and feel of a comfortable, delicious, unfussy event.

So hopefully you'll be seeing something similar in the chow arena of our little production. But then again I'm considering asking my cabinet-maker Dad to make us a bunch of cutting board/serving dishes for this spread and I'm not sure if he'll actually be down for that, so.... maybe not.


Entire feast for the eyes here.

To Kilt or Not to Kilt?

That is the big question of the moment. Pretty sure it's a yes on the kilting of The Groom and his Dudes, but so far he's not made a lot of progress on the research and procurement front. I said I'd sew them (insert gasp of horror here) if he found the material he wants, but so far it's at a standstill.

I did find an awesome pattern, and darling ML, our dear friend who I used to work with in the travel agent days, is an excellent seamstress and has offered her help (thank the lord, hallelujah).

But the tartan fabric, that's the Precious right now. Try 57 Brittish Pounds a yard (!) for the real deal from the basements of Edinburgh and I don't even know what from anywhere else. And it's about $125 to rent a done up one (includes, like, the big safety pin, but none of the other goodies). I would die of happiness if Joosh agreed to go with black kilts and button up shirts. Easy peasy lemon damn squeezey. And look how cute.

Of course there's always this What-Ari-Emmanuel-Would-Wear-If-He-Was-A-Douchebag-Scottish-Hollywood-Agent-Instead-Of-A-Jewish-One possible outcome with the whole black kilt scenario, so one must be careful.

Originally I'd wanted just pants and suspenders, very old timey, a al this adorable Fanfarlo video:


So button-up shirt with a kilt and none of the fancy jacket/socks/manbag-ball protector/knife accoutrement would be awesome in my mind, and a reasonable compromise. But I'm pretty sure he's set on the whole Blackwatch tartan thing, possibly including all the dressy gear. I hope not, though, because lord will that eff up my cazsh vision (and I use "vision" pretty loosely here, rather than in all the seriousness of words like "tablescape" and "event design" that get bandied about quite a little bit in the bins of all things Bridal). It's really hard to picture all that jazz at what will essentially look and feel like an overdone picnic.

An example of all the trimmings, I'm sure you've seen it before:

More fancy pants(less) here.

And here.

And here. (This last one goes out to KDog, as that is indeed Darth Maul in ruffles and a kilt - bow chicka bow bow).

Kilts do look the most delicious on the actual Scots, I'd say, such as this one (rowr, purrrrrr) and this one (ditch the eagle, and I'd be happy to sit in its place).




Hey, you think if I showed Joosh this photo of Captain Mal Reynolds looking saucey in just a plain black (and strangely made of leather...) kilt, he'd go for it? I mean, yes, dude should be strung up for the sock length (higher or lower, buddy, just not that dreadful midcalf thing you've stumbled upon) and the shoe combo, but other than that, I think it's really working for him. And plus, you know, it's Mal. He can get away with pretty much anything.

Unlike grooms, who I've been told by all the ettiquette books* and common wedding lore, are supposed to just nod and smile and do what their brides tell them to do. Clearly the people who write such things have never met the Joosh, am I right? Because as exceptional as he is, he's getting away with matrimonial murder on the planning front...

The debate will rage on, no doubt.

*Who am I kidding? Have I read a single wedding ettiquette book? NO. So please, let me apologize in advance to all the people I am going to inadvertantly offend in this process. I can say with utmost and preemptive certainty that I meant no ill will.

**Update on the expensiveness factor: Never fear, Kiltmart is here! I'm sure those aren't cheap and whorey at all, right? No danger of looking like a slutty girl's Contempo Casuals cast-off, right? Oy.

Like a big ole backyard party...

... But fancy-like.

Like this party.

And this wedding.

And this one.

Or this one. Which happens to have taken place at one of my favorite/ideal venues, but is located too far from Ventura to be reasonable. So picture something akin to this one, but in a much smaller and enclosed yard next to a small orchard, without all the open space and sky and mountains and gorgeousness. (sigh)

And all of these (although lord knows who some of those so-called "backyards" belong to, whooooo boy. I suppose even Oprah could throw a backyard wedding, right? Dang.

Thematically speaking...

Thematically speaking, the wedding narrative will be delicately crafted by blending a modern contextualized old-timey Depression Era sensibility with something of a Scottish-backwoods-Ozarks-bluegrass-country-in-a-farmyard aesthetic. Oh wait, did I say delicately crafted? No no, scratch that. I meant extremely heavy-handedly tossed and spit stuck together with twigs and chewing gum. That's more realistic.

So old timey. Thirties. Dust bowl (no, not really) (well, maybe a little). And Scottish (cause of the kilts, maybe some thistles and bag pipes?) and Scottish settlers-ish (Bluegrass, babies, Bluegrass!). There will be some Jewish-y stuff in there too, and probably some nods to our new hometown, to vegetarianism, gardening and maybe travel? Or cars? Or technology and beer? No no, I jest. But who knows, it could all end up in there, I'm telling, cause I am essentially going kitchen-sink on this mofo. The groom, by the way, is not amused. But I say poppycock to his reservations - clearly he has no vision (if he's having trouble "seeing it in his mind's eye," I'm sure I could find him a photo somewhere on the porny porny wedding blog net - there is nothing you can conceive of for a wedding theme that hasn't already been cobbled together and graphically represented in a magazine-worthy photojournalism essay out there somewhere - it's dazzling).

Speaking of, since I have already stumbled upon photos of exactly what was beginning to take shape in my mixed-nuts brainpan, I will try to dig those up and post them for your imaginings happiness. Stay tuned.

Also? If you have any thoughts or additions to strange bits that could be thrown into the thematic mix, I totally welcome them. If you think I am a crazy person and my so-called themes are clashy clashy weird or retarded (mom!)? I don't want to hear it. YOU try mixing kilts into an otherwise casual wedding and see how far YOU get, mmmkay?*


*I'm actually kind of excited about the kilts, though they really do make everything else a crap pile more complicated to incorporate. And are tres spendy. And not so easy to come by. And seem to require the same conversation about whether or not he, or he, or that guy, or the other guy will wear undies. every. single. time. It occurs to me that I should start taking bets on that one - hell, I could probably get this whole shindig paid for with enough anticipatory flame fanning and basic gambling savvy.

So yeah, about that whole wedding thing...

The last of you lovely ladies to get hitched did so over three years ago. It was a fabulous, gorgeous, wonderful, pretty damn perfect good time. I loved it. I loved being the Maid of Honor, I loved all the hustle and bustle and flurry of activity ahead of time, I loved how totally and completely beautiful everyone looked, loved the details, the food, the dancing, the ambiance, the everything. It was like something out of a magazine. Or, rather, it was like something out of a wedding blog.

Which brings to me to my first point, both of this post and this entire new blog-e-lement: Oh. My. God. Have you visited the Wedding Porn blogosphere of late? It. Is. IN. SANE. Insane, girls, I'm not kidding. Like crackity crack crack crack crazy insane: make your eyes roll in pleasure and rot your teeth out of your head nutso.

Don't believe me? Let me introduce you to just one such needle in the arm of a jonesing bride: Once Wed. This ain't your mama's Martha Stewart Weddings, my friends. And it's not your older sibs' The Knot.com, fluffy poufta ballgown and a hundred giant centerpieces to return before hopping on the plane to the Bahamas either. This is all kinds of vintagey, DIY, homegrown, unique, unusual, interesting, and (most importantly) photojournalistically chronicled wedding shenanigans. And it's fucking crazy.

That's just one of about a hundred similar sites wildfire-speed spreading out in the net verse, by the way (don't worry, I'll link to a few more for your I-should-be-working-right-now-shit! time wasting pleasure). There are all kinds of angles being covered out there: Do-it-yourself, backyard weddings, weddings under "X" thousand bucks, Offbeat weddings for kookoo alternative types from Seattle with tattoos and dyed hair and a fondness for hula hoops (secretly love it, love it all). Intimate weddings, destination weddings, big glamorous Old Hollywood themed weddings, Circus-themed weddings (LOVE. IT.), loft weddings, art gallery weddings, Farm/Barn weddings (pay attention, loves), old-timey depression era weddings (ditto)... it's like someone fed the Wedding Gremlin after midnight and now the multiplying is beyond the control of mortal man.

Now, the one of you that got married the second most recently was all the way back in 2005, which is practically infant baby gaga time in the realm of wedding planning. That was like, notebooks and pencils and pages torn out of Brides magazine and Martha Stewart Weddings. And yet, you managed to have a totally beautiful, serene, intimate, sweet, gorgeous, touching, connected wedding all the same. Of course I do realize that it was practically a full time job to plan and execute the whole affair...

Which brings me to my next point, and thus the truest reason for this blog-a-rena: It is a fucking full time job to plan even a simple, homey, just-like-a-party-but-a-little-bigger-and-with-slightly-more-stuff-to-do-while-eating-and-drinking-and-shmoozing wedding. It appears to be a shit-ton of work, cost an unbelievable amount of money, and require WAY too many decisions be evaluated and considered and finalized along the way. Amby does not approve, I just want to go on record as having said that.

And that having been said, I need your help. Not, like, a ton of help, just a little bit of feedback, from you, my lovely crew of attendants and friends, as the planning begins in earnest. It's a new year (the one in which I will apparently be wed, or so I am told, if all goes according to plan, or plans as yet to come into conceptual being let alone be fruitionified) and June will be here before I know it, and, well, I guess I have some decisions to make. So unless we act on the recent fantasies about saying fuck it all to an actual wedding and running off to Scotland (where have you heard that before? and how many years ago? no matter, cause it still lives on mighty strong in the hearts and minds that reside in the Sanders/Mills household, I gotta tell you), it would appear that there are quite a few details to sort and settle on, some of which will directly involve you (dresses!) and some which will be peripheral (why can't the recessional song be Mena Mena, as done by the Muppets?) and others which will only matter to me, the crazed-eyed Bride (OH. MY. FUCKINGGODI'MABRIDEWHATTHEHELL?) and possibly the deer-in-headlights man who will playing the part of the Groom in this little orchestration.

Ready? Two-four-seven-13-24-HIKE! Er... Let's GO!