Pretty sure I intended that pun, but hopefully won't be made to suffer for it via a peep show at my wedding. Because ladies and gent, it has been decided that indeed kilts will be worn, along with the jackets and fancy bits to cover the other bits and some dangly stuff to be bitsy with some other bits and whatnot.
May I present to you the ensemble of the groomsmen:
Voila! It's more formal than I had been aiming for, but it sure beats the barefoot/barechested look that Groom has been threatening me with lately. I'm sure the jackets will be on for all of ten minutes, but won't those be a dapper few sixths of an hour?
Now my only problems in wedding life related to this are: gussying up the bridal party with fancy accoutrements like jewelry and feather hair gewgaws, and making sure my Great Aunt doesn't make good on her threat to walk around dropping change next to the groomsmen, a la John Candy in Splash* in order that she might take a gander up at the goods under there. Perhaps I should save her the trouble and just have the guys where really shiny shoes...
*rumors of a remake had tales of Heidi effing Montag vying for the mermaid. Really? It's come to this? And by the way, that movie came out 25 years ago. I. AM. OLD.
That is the big question of the moment. Pretty sure it's a yes on the kilting of The Groom and his Dudes, but so far he's not made a lot of progress on the research and procurement front. I said I'd sew them (insert gasp of horror here) if he found the material he wants, but so far it's at a standstill.
I did find an awesome pattern, and darling ML, our dear friend who I used to work with in the travel agent days, is an excellent seamstress and has offered her help (thank the lord, hallelujah).
But the tartan fabric, that's the Precious right now. Try 57 Brittish Pounds a yard (!) for the real deal from the basements of Edinburgh and I don't even know what from anywhere else. And it's about $125 to rent a done up one (includes, like, the big safety pin, but none of the other goodies). I would die of happiness if Joosh agreed to go with black kilts and button up shirts. Easy peasy lemon damn squeezey. And look how cute.
Originally I'd wanted just pants and suspenders, very old timey, a al this adorable Fanfarlo video:
So button-up shirt with a kilt and none of the fancy jacket/socks/manbag-ball protector/knife accoutrement would be awesome in my mind, and a reasonable compromise. But I'm pretty sure he's set on the whole Blackwatch tartan thing, possibly including all the dressy gear. I hope not, though, because lord will that eff up my cazsh vision (and I use "vision" pretty loosely here, rather than in all the seriousness of words like "tablescape" and "event design" that get bandied about quite a little bit in the bins of all things Bridal). It's really hard to picture all that jazz at what will essentially look and feel like an overdone picnic.
An example of all the trimmings, I'm sure you've seen it before:
And here. (This last one goes out to KDog, as that is indeed Darth Maul in ruffles and a kilt - bow chicka bow bow).
Kilts do look the most delicious on the actual Scots, I'd say, such as this one (rowr, purrrrrr) and this one (ditch the eagle, and I'd be happy to sit in its place).
Hey, you think if I showed Joosh this photo of Captain Mal Reynolds looking saucey in just a plain black (and strangely made of leather...) kilt, he'd go for it? I mean, yes, dude should be strung up for the sock length (higher or lower, buddy, just not that dreadful midcalf thing you've stumbled upon) and the shoe combo, but other than that, I think it's really working for him. And plus, you know, it's Mal. He can get away with pretty much anything.
Unlike grooms, who I've been told by all the ettiquette books* and common wedding lore, are supposed to just nod and smile and do what their brides tell them to do. Clearly the people who write such things have never met the Joosh, am I right? Because as exceptional as he is, he's getting away with matrimonial murder on the planning front...
The debate will rage on, no doubt.
*Who am I kidding? Have I read a single wedding ettiquette book? NO. So please, let me apologize in advance to all the people I am going to inadvertantly offend in this process. I can say with utmost and preemptive certainty that I meant no ill will.
**Update on the expensiveness factor: Never fear, Kiltmart is here! I'm sure those aren't cheap and whorey at all, right? No danger of looking like a slutty girl's Contempo Casuals cast-off, right? Oy.
Thematically speaking, the wedding narrative will be delicately crafted by blending a modern contextualized old-timey Depression Era sensibility with something of a Scottish-backwoods-Ozarks-bluegrass-country-in-a-farmyard aesthetic. Oh wait, did I say delicately crafted? No no, scratch that. I meant extremely heavy-handedly tossed and spit stuck together with twigs and chewing gum. That's more realistic.
So old timey. Thirties. Dust bowl (no, not really) (well, maybe a little). And Scottish (cause of the kilts, maybe some thistles and bag pipes?) and Scottish settlers-ish (Bluegrass, babies, Bluegrass!). There will be some Jewish-y stuff in there too, and probably some nods to our new hometown, to vegetarianism, gardening and maybe travel? Or cars? Or technology and beer? No no, I jest. But who knows, it could all end up in there, I'm telling, cause I am essentially going kitchen-sink on this mofo. The groom, by the way, is not amused. But I say poppycock to his reservations - clearly he has no vision (if he's having trouble "seeing it in his mind's eye," I'm sure I could find him a photo somewhere on the porny porny wedding blog net - there is nothing you can conceive of for a wedding theme that hasn't already been cobbled together and graphically represented in a magazine-worthy photojournalism essay out there somewhere - it's dazzling).
Speaking of, since I have already stumbled upon photos of exactly what was beginning to take shape in my mixed-nuts brainpan, I will try to dig those up and post them for your imaginings happiness. Stay tuned.
Also? If you have any thoughts or additions to strange bits that could be thrown into the thematic mix, I totally welcome them. If you think I am a crazy person and my so-called themes are clashy clashy weird or retarded (mom!)? I don't want to hear it. YOU try mixing kilts into an otherwise casual wedding and see how far YOU get, mmmkay?*
*I'm actually kind of excited about the kilts, though they really do make everything else a crap pile more complicated to incorporate. And are tres spendy. And not so easy to come by. And seem to require the same conversation about whether or not he, or he, or that guy, or the other guy will wear undies. every. single. time. It occurs to me that I should start taking bets on that one - hell, I could probably get this whole shindig paid for with enough anticipatory flame fanning and basic gambling savvy.
